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Had a great time with Sal when we went for a walk… It started when I arrived, late afternoon. The door was answered by a harassed looking Sal. She greeted me with ‘Hello! Come in, kettle’s on.’ I stepped over the threshold and gave her a hug. She buried her head in my shoulder and whispered ‘it’s bl**dy good to see you again, things are *too* normal around here at the moment.’ I held her for a couple of minutes, gently rubbing her back. She pulled back a little and looked at me. She leant forward and kissed me briefly on the lips. A rush of memory and emotion passed over me, and I looked at her quizzically. In a soft voice she said ‘Terri’s parents are here for the weekend, and although they’re nice people, they’re so bl**dy *normal*. I don’t /want/ to talk about cousin Dave’s wedding, or discuss the latest happenings on Eastenders.’ I nodded, because I knew now what the problem was. Terri is Sal’s flatmate. A really nice lass, very cheerful and friendly, one of us (so to speak),. .And nothing that I myself want to be.After eating breakfast, dad drives me to school where I breathe a lightsigh of relief to finally be able to live on some of my own terms. Sure,I'm still dressed as a girl, which brings with it the 'attention' ofvirtually every boy in years ten and eleven, but it's easier to forgetabout your problems when you're not under the constant threat of yourmother summoning you to her.I don't even have any 'real' friends at school, but I'm far fromunpopular. I'm on the cheerleading squad- at my mum's insistence,obviously- so I mainly hang out with them at break and at lunch, eventhough their talk of make-up, clothes and boys almost drives me insane.Every time they direct the group's attention toward the nearest group ofboys, I find myself fantasising about them- not being the girlfriend ofone of them, but being, well, just one of them. Swapping videogames,talking about sport and TV... Instead of swapping lipsticks and talkingabout dance and.
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