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How can I once again regain my rapt devotion to this anatomical glory of feminine beauty? How can I regain my mojo, add sparkle to my libido, and put a little pep back into my pencil?Please, please help me get my sex drive back, Mrs Girl. I find myself unqualified to do another job, but a life of celibacy can’t be my only option.Yours in desperation,Mr Macenzie Moclulis MBchB FRCOGConsultant Gynaecologist Dear Dr Floppydick,According to your notes, you've got terminal brain cancer and only have two weeks to live. Sorry about that. Oops, my bad. Wrong notes. See, not that funny when it happens to you, is it? So next time I visit your loathsome institution, do try not to fuck it up like last time. Furthermore, I need to inform you that as this consultation is not covered by the NHS there will be a fee of five hundred pounds payable for its provision (so you can stick your pay rise between your thin, pursing, disapproving, lips, Janine). I can empathise with your suffering, Dr. I mean, how did she know I was shopping for myself? I thought for a second that I could just tell her she was crazy and walk away. But for some reason, I just stood there shaking.She softly touched me on the arm and said, "I'm Karen. I've been watching you shop. I saw you in Victoria's Secret buying panties. Then I saw you buy a necklace at the jewelry counter at Mervyn's and some make-up there too. Don't worry sweetie. I don't mean to be stalking you. I'm just intrigued by you. So tell me. All this stuff is for you, isn't it?"I softly nodded my head while looking at the floor. I was so embarrassed I didn't know what to do.She said, "Why don't you get these slacks. They're adorable. Then maybe we could go somewhere and talk."I was so scared, but this was so exciting to have a real girl interested in my little hobby. I paid for the slacks, added them to my other purchases and we started walking toward the mall's exit.When we got outside, she said, "My car's right over there. Why don't.
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