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They all complimented me, but I still felt shallow. Most of them tried groping me, and usually I'd have let one or two of them feel me up, but I just wasn't into it. My girls dropped me home, and by the way I was walking I could tell I was still really really drunk. I noticed that Chris' light was on, I wonder what he's doing up? I stumbled around the yard and finally got into the house. I was making my way towards my room, but my body led me towards Chris. I knocked on his door, thinking to myself 'what the fuck am I doing?' "You're home pretty late, its after 2. Mom and dad are gonna kill you" "Shut up you -hiccup-, you dumb asshole." I said. I wasn't thinking about the words coming out of my mouth, its like it had a mind of its own. "The hell is wrong with you? How much have you had to drink tonight??" "Didn't I say to be quiet?" I asked sternly as I pushed him into his room and closed the door behind us. "What's wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you, huh?" "You're not. I had been a virgin when we married, as was my husband,Gary, so we didn’t know much about sex. That didn’tkeep us from trying to learn. Among the things Ilearned was how to keep track of Gary’s fantasies. It’ssurprising how stupid men think their wives are aboutcomputers, a view I’ve never discouraged. It makes it alot simpler if he hides his porn collection in obviousways and doesn’t even erase the Internet “History” orthe cookies from the porn sites. We all know men arejust overgrown teenage boys and his fantasies started,as most men’s do, with stories of geeky boys making itwith the entire cheerleading squad. From there he movedon to stories of voluptuous teachers coming on to“helpless” high-school boys. He almost fainted the night I met him at the door in ashort tight skirt, high heels, frilly white blousebuttoned to the neck, and a ruler in my hand. “Mrs.Brooks” told him she was quite upset that he had beenstaring at her since the term began, ogling her boobsand trying to see up.
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