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I'd always had a pretty strong disbelief in ghosts, or spirits, or whatever you want to call them. And if that call from the hospital was to be believed, she was neither anyway. So who, or more precisely what, was this disembodied manifestation of my beloved that I was spending all this quality time with? I tried to get her to tell me her feelings, but that went nowhere; so far as she was concerned she'd simply leaped instantaneously from being run down on the street to appearing in my apartment with a pressing urge to protect me. There was no transition, no "light" from which she'd retreated, nothing. One second on the street, the next waking me up. Nothing in between.Well, there'd come a time for sorting this out. Meantime I had other concerns. The nurse had sounded pretty grim on the phone, and my priority was to do everything I could to keep her alive.The hospital e.r. was quiet when I got there, but when I told the desk nurse who I was and who I wanted to see I got kind of a. .. It's not my fault. He was the one who seduced me in the first place. He's so straightforward. I was anticipating that he'd make a move but he took me off guard. Such a behavior, I won't tolerate it. But To be honest, I guess I wanted all that. I did keep an eye on him. Like, I know he's a good swimmer and and a popular student. And he's good in studies. But he put special efforts on my subject. I don't even remember when did I start giving him attention. But it's just attraction. There's no way he'd be in love with me. I shouldn't take him serious. But why didn't I refuse it when we did that. Maybe he reminds me of someone... Someone I've forgotten long ago. Good things never come free. There's always a price. And I've already paid a great deal. After such a long time, I'm having these kind of feelings. But again, he might be just playing with me. He'll abandon me when he'll get bored of me. I should get him out of my mind. I guess I should keep avoiding him as much as I can. Maybe.
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