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She promised that no one would ever be able to hurt me again. She kept that promise, Erik. The only thing that she neglected to tell me was that in order that no one hurt me again, no one would ever love me again. That was the trade. I could not allow anyone to become close to me. I remember when Madame would try to hold me and comfort me, but I would not allow it. I would allow Lilith to step into me and take over. She told me that she needed to do things to make certain that people would not be able to hurt me."At first, she spoke to me, but all too soon, she simply took over and I no longer remembered when she was in control. Part of me knew that I did not remember things like other people. That sometimes I would be lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and then, in the blink of an eye, I would be shoveling manure. The more I sensed my difference, the more I isolated myself. The more anger I kept inside me, the less other people tried to befriend me. I spent my days running errands. " I would not be so sure about that, Susan dear, we girls can sometimes be a bit Bi." Wendy said with a smile."That may be true but it takes two to tango and I am not sure that I would want to join in that kind of dance," Susan said with a giggle.SusanI don't know what has come over me. I have already said that although I realize that my coach had betrayed my trust and the trust my family put in him, I enjoyed sex with him. But that experience was tarnished by his betrayal and made me very wary of having anything to do with boys. This week parading naked with another boy in the same situation as my companion seems to have aroused my sexual desire again. Now that Joey has done his best to try and protect me in a nasty situation and We have committed ourselves to a relationship I find myself taking charge of how fast we should become sexually involved.This morning I jacked him off and almost had an orgasm myself from doing it. I also made it clear to him that I wanted us to go all the.
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