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I recognized my mother-in-law’s handwriting and address. She was thoughtful, I had to admit. For a mother in law she wasn’t all bad. She was kind, soft spoken, a widow, and a good cook. She also had a body I wished my wife had and a wicked sense of humor that constantly bornered on the sexual side. It was a dirty birthday card. “Whatever present you thought I was going to give you for your birthday, please accept this instead,” the cover of the card read. I opened it. The inside cover had a buxom woman in a tiny bikini with fold out lips popping out of the center of the card. It was a music card. “You’re so sexy” started playing. The credits for the song in small print was “French Affair.” I wondered who she was, or if it was a hint.Obviously this was a hint of some kind. It was my mother in law’s way of telling me she would be visiting. I knew I would be getting the official news she would be coming for Thanksgiving from my wife Liz. Liz was a spoiled southern girl who had endured. Fuck! I could really destroy my wife with that thing. I'm a grower, not a shower, and I shook my little thing and got out to wash my hands. I could see the man peeing in the mirror, you couldn't miss him. 6'4" probably 270, built like a linebacker. I was washing my hands, when I heard him laughing, and I looked at his face in the mirror. He was laughing at me!You like that, huh?what?You like that nigga dick, don'tcha?I told him I didn't know what he was talking about. But he knew.I saw you looking through that hole- you weren't pissin and your feet gave you away.Look pal, you got me all wrong-I just caught you now staring at it in the mirror, bitch!I started to argue, but he had finished, and shook it, and I guess I looked down at it again. I got you all right... don't I? I was embarrassed and left, went and got my burger and beer, and sat at a table trying to put it past me. But that guy sat in corner, right next to me. He smiled...Just relax, baby.He grabbed my burger and took a.
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