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Lesley had been shooting photos of herself wearing her lingerie. ‘Mmm-mmm!’ I hummed to myself. This girl is something else in lingerie, and she’s a phenomenal photographer, so the combination is guaranteed to be erotic and she has a body that could arouse a eunuch. I changed quickly and started my way down the hallway to surprise Lesley, who still didn’t even know I was home. A wicked smile danced across my face as I imagined coming up behind her while she was on the phone, wrapping my arms around her, caressing her breasts while the person on the other end of the phone was clueless – ‘Oh god, yeah, I love that cock of his!’ I heard her say. I froze in my tracks. Huh? What? Who the hell is she talking to? I went back into the bedroom and lay on the bed, and picked up the extension and immediately hit the ‘mute’ button. Their conversation had moved onwards, but was definitely firmly rooted in the gutter. ‘Sandra,’ Lesley was saying, ‘I’ve gotta tell you, if I had it in me to. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!”“No, I’m sorry,” replied the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.” A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack.So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.”Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000.The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager.Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and.
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