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” She sighed splendidly, “When I was a man, I quite enjoyed the idea of bending you over your throne, stuffing your panties in your mouth, and fucking you into a coma.” “Funny,” I groaned, “my fantasies about you were quite the same.” “You fantasized about me?” She raised her blonde brows. “Every noble girl in the court did!” I giggled, “The tall, brave, stoic Thomas Adarian. So chivalrous, so dignified. You’d bow before my throne like a proper knight, and eat my pussy like a gentleman.” Her lips twisted. “So, not quite the same.” “Oh, after a few flicks of the bean I’d get bored with that gay shit, and you’d grab me by the hair, drive me into the back of the throne and fuck me brainless.” “What could have been.” “I would’ve had you in chains if you’d taken one untoward step.” “I like where this is going.” She chuckled, her eyes traversing me with an appraising gleam, “I always imagined you to be a skinny bitch under all that royal garb. It irritates me a little that you’re so. And if Granny and Gramps had got married in what appeared to be a bit of a hurry, there is no reason to jump to conclusions. Gramps was, after all, a Royal Marine commando, and stationed not too far from home at about the right time. Bicycling distance for a young man with a stiffy you could do pole vault with for sure.So when Felice rang my mobile – we use mobiles around the place because they are so much easier - to tell me we had a visitor I had no inkling of the trouble that was in store, or indeed that, as is often the case, some sharp and lateral thinking would be called for to provide a solution.The morning hadn’t started well because I had discovered that Joanna, my daughter, had been pulling a train in the car park of the Mucky Duck the night before. The pub is really called the Black Swan, but since everybody knows it as the Mucky Duck, if a stranger asks for the Black Swan they are liable to get a blank look. This makes people think that the locals aren’t too bright, which.
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