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What did he do that night? He tucked his tail between his legs and cowardly ran off to hide, leaving mom and I helpless with a drunk that had little to no inhibitions. Do you know what it was like to see that monster standing there with handfuls of moms hair as she lay there defensively listening to the profanities he spat. How humiliating it made me feel to crawl helplessly to the phone so that I can call the police. I sat there on the phone trembling, fearing that the monster will turn his attention back to me. My eyes darted around looking for my brother, my best friend who was never in sight. I felt betrayed.’ ‘Jules, I didn’t….’ I cut off as she gave me an evil stare and I knew she wasn’t finished. ‘John, I was a nine year old girl living a horror, a nightmare. I had nobody to wrap my arms around to console me.’ The tears that poured from Julie’s eyes put Niagara Falls to shame. The mental image I received returned my tears from earlier. I relived that night in her shoes,. "So you had your little boy. How old is he?" Alan is five. You haven't seen him, have you?" No." Ron, I don't know who his daddy is -- but he was black. HE was black -- and most of the guys he passed me around to were black or Hispanic of one flavor or another. I was their white party slut." Her eyes were wet. "You need to know what I did. Beatrice saw me doing it, but she didn't understand -- not until last night. Now she does, because it has happened." She just sat there for a while, clearly wrapped up in the aftermath of her choice, then gathered herself. "It seems like maybe you understand. From what I'm hearing, you did good things last night. But there are guys who can't do what is necessary, even if they DO understand -- they've been brought up to think it is wrong to provide what we need." What do you need?" I asked."Control. Supervision. Attention -- not the type you might think, but vigilance, maybe. You have to be able to understand that by taking, you give -- because you.
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