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Bill Johnson shoots to a three handicap. Ed Fitzgerald is a steady five, and I shoot to a six. I am Wilbur Ramsey. We play serious golf. A little money changes hands. We have been members at Pinehurst since we were all thirteen. We are thirty two now. Last Monday at five after seven AM, the golf pro, Henry Dugan, came up to us at the driving range. “You guys have a tee time today of seven thirty five. Do you mind if I send a fourth out with you?” “Please don’t send a talkative hacker with us,” I said. “Trust me, she is no hacker, boys. She is a new member, that is also my student. She will play from the white tees with you. I suggest that you don’t bet money on your game against hers.” “This, I’ve got to see?” Ed said with a laugh. We were on the first tee, and from a distance saw a young woman begin hitting balls about ten minutes before our tee time. Could not see her that well, or see where the balls she hit landed. When she walked towards the first tee, with her caddie, Bill let. She looked like she had just won Lotto, very happy with herself. She snuggled into me, and I have to say, I knew dammed well that I had struck the jackpot. Ivan is quite the opposite of me in some ways, which is probably why we get on so well and still do till this day. I was brought up by my mother, and taught never to swear in front of a woman, and always to treat them with respect. Whereas Ivan loves shocking and talking dirty, I am always amazed how many women actually seem to like him treating them that way. Another thing that used to embarrass me, was that he has a habit of searching out a pretty girl in a bar, then reaching down behind and feeling them up. I’ve seen him slapped plenty of times and I’ve seen irate girls take to someone else close to us, thinking it was them. But there have been plenty that have just leaned back into him and let him have a good feel. One night I swear, he started feeling up a very attractive woman that was talking to a man, it may have been her.
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