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“You mean I… Well, that would be an honour, ma’am! But surely you would want me to finish my NDF first?”“Ach, what are pieces of paper to a true fucker?” said Hildegard, as she walked back behind her desk and sat down. No, I just need to see that you have what it takes. Fucking is a vocation: it is not something you can learn from books. I would like to offer you an apprenticeship here – to be reviewed in, say, six months. You see, to be a good Hospice Fucker, apart from having the right physical attributes – and you clearly have those – you have to have the right attitude, firstly to fucking, and secondly… to death. We are dealing with very important life-and-death matters here at Princess Asshole.”“Uh… ma’am?” Despite his excitement, Chad was finding Hildegard a bit hard to follow. His attention was, frankly, distracted by Nurse Datchet, who had now hawked a large gob of saliva onto her exposed clit and was slowly rubbing it in, whilst whispering to herself in a high-pitched. CandiruMen everywhere, meet your worst enemy. Candiru is a type of catfish found in South America, specifically in the Amazon river. It’s typically less than an inch long, scaleless, translucent, and looks similar to an eel. And they have this mean little habit of swimming up the urethra of men’s penises. The first documented incident of this was in 1977. What happens is, once the little guy has swam fully up the urethra, it settles in there by anchoring their short spines into the surrounding tissue. They then gain access to the man’s blood supply, which can cause inflammation, hemorrhage, and even death. The only way to remove this is surgically.3. DiphallusA rare condition that affects one in 5-6 million males, diphallus is when a man is born with two penises. Unfortunately it’s rare that both are fully functional, and it often comes in tandem with other deformities that also require surgery.4. Penises used to have spinesThough they were lost before Neanderthals and modern humans.
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