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Just so we are clear. “Hell, I know that, but she’s a fun dance partner.” “So I’ve heard. I was enjoying the listening to Tom and Don debate how wonderfully charming I was, but my bladder dictated that I visit the ladies room. “Gentlemen, if you’ll excuse me for a moment…this lady has to go winky-tink,” I said in my sexiest ‘little girl’ voice Don laughed, “Well, I need to bleed my lizard too. I’ll walk you to the ladies’ room.” I noticed that Don kept his hand on the small of my back as he guided me to the back of the bar, down a small hallway. The restroom doors were labeled ‘innies’ and ‘outies’ to distinguish the ladies’ room from the men’s room. “Connie, I never would have agreed to Tom’s proposal if I wasn’t so enthralled with you.” “Well, that’s sweet of you to say that, but I want you to know, you really did make the right business decision for your company. No one will work harder to give you the very best product at the very best price than Tom. And he won’t screw you guys. "Not in...?" she wonders, as a distracted look flits across that familiarface. "... in this house? Honey? Don't you recognize me? Does the bellyconfuse you?"Well, yeah. Yeah, it does. It really does. How can someone go to bed maleand wake up pregnant? "This is crazy. Where's my husband ...?"She frowns. "I'm your husband. Really ..." She stares down at herself."No, I guess I'm not anymore." She makes a ball with her fist, presses itagainst her uterus."That's right. I can tell looking at you that you're not. How did you getin? Where did you come from?"She stretches and the blanket slips off. She's naked, naked all the wayto her toes. This pregnant woman with my husband's face and voice -- fromthe look of her breasts, she's almost ready to nurse. She sees where I'mstaring and cups her hands around them. "Neat, huh?" she says."Yeah. Neat," I answer grumpily. "Just peachy."Then there's that look again, that pained look, as if to say come onwoman, get with the program here. "What am I.
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