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"Squad, tension!" CSM Jarvis shouted as they entered, (completely missing the A of Attention)."Stand easy Sarn't Major!" Melchett ordered, "Gentlemen I have a special mission for you," he advised, "Word has it that you are each the possessor of a ten inch member, tool, willie, cock or what ever your favoured term is for your glans penis."He paused, "Am I right?" he asked."Ugh," the squad muttered."Very well, anyone with a small cock one pace forward!" Melchett ordered and paused a moment and when no one moved he added, "No, good, right, squad, trousers," he paused "Down!" Sir?" Private Umbuntu asked."Drop em man, let the lady check your dangler,"Melchett suggested, "Whip it out, let Mrs Melchett measure it." "Are you sure Ma'am?" Umbuntu asked uneasily."My husband wants to be sure the squad consists of men with ten inch penises," Mrs Melchett explained."But why Ma'am?" he asked."Top secret, need to know basis, you know the form," Melchett insisted."Is it fucking sir?" he asked."No. I thought the two songs sounded pretty good; of course some more practice together, getting our timings right, and tweaking the arrangement would improve things. Mike then suggested we do ‘Black Magic Woman’, at least as a song to get us more accustomed to playing together.“Mike, do you want to take the lead?” Phil said. “Vocals? You or Will?”“We’ll do it the way we did the other month,” Mike said. “Will can sing, he’s much better at holding a tune than I am.”“Okay, Mate, count us in, you can take the organ lead,” I said.We played that song, and a few more; some of the new ones that had been written, they were starting to sound somewhat presentable. As we were taking a break, George and Harry arrived, to see how things were sounding.“Fuck! You’ve got a fucking symphony orchestra up on the stage,” George said, when he saw the number of people we had. “We’re going to need a bigger mixing desk, Mary Beth!”“I think forty-eight channels should be enough, but if you have a bigger one, then.
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