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We were salesmen, the bunch of us, boys and girls. Some of us were as young as five and some as old as fifteen, and even one boy who was sixteen. He was the old man in our midst. Most of us were between 8 and 13, but we were older than that really.Being an orphan is like that. It makes you old really fast, cynical and realistic. Even the little kids knew that every day that passed in the orphanage was a bad thing. Babies get adopted quick, everybody knows that. Then the toddlers and pre-schoolers, they had okay chances. Even a 6 or 7 year old had a shot at life, a real life with parents and everything. Once you hit puberty though, it was all over but the crying, and by age 12 we were much too old for that. And God didn't make that many tears anyway.I was 13 and over the hill by adoption standards. But I put on my shiny face anyway, because that's all we had. It was all I had. Hope dies hard; even when you think it's gone, hope can surprise you. I felt it like a needle in my heart,. Some brief flashes of her journey home, entering her room, a mixture of horny feelings about wanting to get fucked. She was clearer about waking up briefly when I visited her in the morning and helped her back to bed.I was glad for both her and my sake that she didn’t remember the events following her return and her journey into bed more clearly. I helped her into her room. She had some faded images of us talking, but none of her trying to seduce me into having sex. She had an alcohol-fuelled sex dream in which I featured heavily. Despite the reality and fiction all mixed in her alcohol hazed brain, she had passed off any sexual memory as part of her dream.I was relieved that the remaining memories were vague, and that she had not heard what happened under her nose with the twins earlier in the day. If her feelings and memories were clearer, or she had heard us, it could cause a few awkward questions that I don’t think either of us wanted to have raised. Again, I was thankful for.
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