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Gareth making love – no, not making love, fucking me. The brothel owners. Jagoda accusing: Why did you let me die? Laura, knife in hand. Food blender. Hiromi grinning.Didn’t wake in a cold sweat but eyes were sore and throat was sore and heart pounded fit to choke me. Staggered to kitchen. Need tea. Had to fill kettle. Filled it, put it in sink, stared at it. Maybe a shower. Where was the bathroom?More dreams. Woke on the sofa, sitting where I’d been when Mandy drugged me. Never drink Nuit St George again. Found the bathroom this time. Threw up. Thought my throat was bleeding.Men just cum and go. I’d cracked that joke in the brothel. Women are the constant, men are ephemeral. Love them, lose them. Gareth hadn’t loved me. Cum and gone. Used me as a whore. Maybe Katrina had been right. That’s what I was. All I was. Worthless. Hollow. What’s constant about a whore?I started to cry again and couldn’t stop. It was daylight. What business had the sun to rise? The phone rang and I let it. Misrepresentation - often really just wishful thinking, thatone still looked like the best photos of five years ago - is anothercommon malpractice in internet connections! But during the period of ourchats I had become increasingly honest, slowly bringing my pictures up todate. Somehow I trusted that he had done the same.And he had. The man sitting opposite me in the quiet corner of anordinary bar was indeed the man I had seen in the photographs. Tall, inhis fifties and in reasonable shape, hair slightly thinning, going grey,there was no doubt that this was the man I had seen in the photos. Butwhat really impressed me was his manner - calm where I was nervous, andwith the quiet confidence of someone who was used to being in control.The most notable feature was his eyes, which were blue and penetrating.Immediately I knew that this man was dominant in a very natural way -there was nothing theatrical about the way he assumed control - ofordering drinks, of taking charge of the.
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