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This time the loneliness was my personal demon. It ate at me and wore though my defenses like a never-ending wind that cut and ripped non-stop at my soul.If it weren’t for Charger, I wonder if I’d have found the courage and strength to go on. He needed me because I provided those things he couldn’t live without. I depended on him because his love was without conditions, demands, or frustrations. We were rarely separated. If I went somewhere he went, too. When I settled down on the bed to read, or watch a ball game, he jumped up and cuddled.It was what he did.God or the universe provided him for me, because I needed him. God or the universe knew things I didn’t and never would.God or the universe knew what was coming and didn’t bother to warn me... Thanks a lot.Charger and I had loitered through the winter and spring, waiting for something to happen. The laziness was welcomed after over twenty years of non-stop service at high levels of stress. Charger loved having all of my. I was still showering when he arrived 15 Mins early and had to open the door still soaked and naked with my ass out covering my chest which I’ve grown accustomed to doing. He was a thug black n mild in his ear, face and neck tattoos, gold teeth, and what’s worse is he is so short compared to average. I’m 6’3 he was easily only 5’3-5’4 very cut and super intense looking. He had an eerie r****t type stare and looked right at me even when we weren’t talking. He was a rough groper and I learned this when I led him to my bedroom as he grabbed and smacked my ass which I later learned left bruises all over the bottom and sides of my butt cheeks. When we walked in the room I was running excuses in my head of why I could cancel this last minute. I worried he would flip out or attack me so I continued.. I kept reminding myself this is what you wanted and now it’s getting real. He removed the towel and sucked and cuffed my breasts turning my other nipple to hard and pinching me. He was sucking.
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