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But when Isaid it aloud, my voice was neither certain, nor a boy's."We've been over this, Tammy. There is no Tim. Say it after me." There... is no Tim." Tim is a persona you created as a coping mechanism, in response to yourtraumatic experiences. The school janitor was caught installing cameras inthe restrooms, one of which recorded you. Your mortification about beingseen in such a vulnerable state caused you to invent this 'Tim' character,as a way of reclaiming power for yourself, becoming the voyeur instead ofhis victim."As she said it, I knew it was true. I was Tammy, and Dr. Ross was helpingme with my "condition", with the goal of getting me back into normalunderwear again. The blinking diode in front of me was a tool to help mewalk through my memories and process them."I think that's enough for today's session. We've made a lot of progressuntangling your memories. For your homework, I'd like you to keep ajournal of any dreams you have this week. And if you have any crises. I went to the washroom and hacked it all off. I didn't want some person finding my tresses in the trash and telling the authorities so I threw them out the window. Next I put on my sports bra and then wrapped a scarf tightly around my breasts to minimize my outline even more. I could hardly breathe but I could see by the mirror that my figure really looked different. I then dressed in my baggiest sweatshirt and jeans. The end result was very androgynous.That was all I could do until I arrived in England. The ride was an agony of fear, and pain from my squashed breasts, but I wasn't going to cave. I would not give up my freedom, even if my folks managed to get my trust fund. I would just be poor.I made it to the end of the line without any trouble, though. Once off of the train, I felt much better ... but I was starving. I found a café and had a great meal and a pint of stout.I felt renewed!Most of the people in the café were trainers and grooms ... people who took care of.
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