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Keeping undercover, I went around toward the front and watched him come out and go to his house just across the parking lot from the funeral home. Things were working out so far. I went around to the basement door and turned the knob. The door wasn't even locked. I guess Mr. Thompson wasn't too concerned about anyone breaking into a funeral home. I looked around to get oriented and went over to the door on the cooler section where I had seen him place Deborah's sheet-covered corpse. After opening the door; I tentatively pulled the drawer out and slowly lifted the sheet. In the dim light; I saw Deborah's pale face with her eyes closed. She looked like she was sleeping. My hands pulled the sheet slowly all the way off her and I gazed at her naked loveliness. Her long blonde hair was arranged so that it covered her breasts on each side. Her hands were crossed across her stomach. My eyes continued until they were staring at the light brown thin bush of pubic hair covering her pussy. Her. YOU TALKIN TO A REAL PLAYA NOW GURL. REAL. I DON’T GO FIRST.” Dick soon realised the alien spoke not only completely in caps, but largely only in Too $hort lyrics. Suddenly it all made sense – Too $hort had to be an alien. Only someone who had observed earth culture from the outside, but never lived it, could have composed songs and rhymes so terrible and yet still thought they had any merit whatsoever. The alien was Too $hort.He might've been called Too $hort, but his dick was jolly long. "Long as a log," thought Dick, as logs of shit were removed from his anus during the continued pounding. POUND. POUND... And then it was over, seemingly, before it even began. Dick was astonished! By golly, he was up early the next morning fresh as the first steaming turd on a cold day. He bounded around the office, spilling coffee from his mug, but not giving one fuck who he spilled it on. One particularly heated moment he managed to drench an Irishman with the contents of his mug, and was yelled.
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