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This time was inside a very horny female caterer who happened to be my first cousin, Hannah Goldfarb. Well, well, well, I thought, no wonder my wife knew which caterers to call. I also didn’t know that Mom was Jewish by birth herself, though her parents converted to Episcopalian. How was that for irony? I was the half-Jewish grandson of a Nazi war criminal! Whatever else Dad inherited from Karl Koenig, at least the anti-Semitism died with the Waffen SS man. That much was clear.“I’m fertile, by the way. You just knocked me up. Don’t worry. It’s only a mamzer if born to adultery and close incest, not fornication with a mere cousin. People mistranslated the word as ‘bastard’ in the King James Version, a very poor word choice that reflected translators’ early modern European biases.“I’m sure that I’ll be fine, though I want the baby to know its father. All the more reason for us all to live together, right? Besides, we’re family, right? Kissing cousins and all that jazz,” Hannah invited. I expect it’s just someone…’ The words died on my lips as another round of breathless giggles met my ears, this time accompanied by fragments of excited Italian. ‘Or maybe not. Oh. Oh…’ ‘You understood that?’ Drew’s breath was warm against my ear. ‘Translate for me, woman!’ ‘Erm.’ I blinked hard, shocked. There was still no sign that anyone was in the room and Marco was due to arrive for our telephone conference any moment now. But if I’d really heard what I thought I’d just heard, he was about to come across a very interesting situation. ‘Sam? What did…?’ Drew left the question unfinished as we heard another voice, this time male. And this time, extremely familiar… ‘Ti voglio da morire!’ ‘No way.’ I felt my eyes widen. ‘No way! That’s—’ ‘Marco?’ Drew exclaimed. As if in answer, a dark-suited figure lurched on to the screen, sent sprawling backwards across the conference table by a propelling hand. ‘Voglio fare l’amore con te,’ a female voice said, her tone sultry. ‘Voglio sentirti.
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