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Amy: Hahaha cooking for a living! That would be awesome.We were really hungry. So we finished our pizzas in no time.Amy: It was a nice dad, maybe we could try that again some other time.Me: You bet honey!Amy: All right! What should we do next?I took her to the bedroom.Amy: So this is where you sleep, huh?Me: Yup! Do you like it? It’s a really good bed.Amy: Really? Can I jump on it?Me: What?Amy: Yeah, can I jump on the bed? I’d love to do that, hahaha.Me: How old are you again?Amy: Hahaha funny. You said it’s a good bed, so let me see if that’s true. What do you say?Me: All right. You can jump on the bed if you want.Amy: Yes!Me: Just take off your shoes first.Amy: Okay.She was excited. My bed was really good. She started jumping on the bed. She’s also doing tricks like lifting her feet. She seemed so happy.Amy: This is too funny!Me: Don’t jump too high, you’re going to hit the ceiling!Amy: Hahaha dad, you’re such a party pooper!Me: I’m your dad and your acting like a kid. I don’t want. This was feeling way too much like another therapy session. I didn't want to be having a therapy session with Tamara. I wanted to be..."I dunno," I said, cutting off that train of thought. I started flailing, because I realized I couldn't really answer her question. Tamara's face was expressionless. I must have looked more pathetic than I thought."John," she began, "I was talking with her. You could have joined us but you wandered off." I know, I know. I could have. It's just..." I hung my head. I almost snorted at the irony. Sometimes I couldn't stop the words from coming out. Now I couldn't get them out at all.Tamara put her arm around me. Somehow she knew not to ask anything more. She started stroking my upper arm--a gentle caress that reminded me of our time in Nevada.I let out a deep breath."Sometimes it's easier not to try," I finally said. "That way I can't get rejected for my looks." She held me tighter. "I wish you could understand what that's like, to be rejected for your.
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