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I've been married to my wife for the last ten years but we had been dating since she met me on my 21st birthday when I was out with my buddies for a few drinks. She was the waitress that served us our drinks. Long story short, I married her five years later. Now Beth, my wife, and I had talked a few years ago about the possibility of us venturing outside of our marriage and checking out the local swingers scene. I wish I had never brought it up. She didn't like the idea at all, and thought that I was sick and perverted for even having these thoughts. In fact, she even called me a sexual deviant! So needless to say I have had to repress my sexual fantasies and repair a lot of hurt feelings and her insecurities that my perverted thoughts had caused her. This unfortunately led to a lot of hard feelings on both our parts. I felt neglected and became resentful that I could not share my fantasies with my own wife. She didn't trust me and felt that I wasn't attracted to her anymore. . Sometimes, especially when someone scared you or made you mad, you would just go into a weird place mentally. It was like the real you just stepped aside and there was someone else inside your head, telling the other person what to do. And they did it. When it happened, you didn't really think about it. In fact, you thought it was normal, until you told someone about it and they acted like you told them you were possessed by the devil. It took you a while to figure out that it didn't happen to other people, that it was something different about you. But ever since then, you've made a point of keeping it secret.Your teenage years were the worst. It's bad enough being a teenager, but being a teenager who is different from all of the other teenagers is even worse. You were completely shunned by everyone. Even your sisters would ignore you in school, though they had to talk to you sometimes just to keep your parents from getting on their case. The only person who ever willingly spoke to.
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