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’ --Shirley, 7 years oldAND THE BEST RESPONSE‘My Mum drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn’t make any sense.’ --Jack, 7 yearsAn old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morningtil night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out ploughing with his old mule. He tried to plough a lot. One day, when he was out ploughing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner. ”“This is that, Dad. You. Me. And now, Haley.”“What about your mom...”“You want a kitten? I think she’s gonna have one.”Haley chuckled. I, on the other hand, “You think she’ll let us pick you up Saturday for the wedding?”“I’m sure she will. She probably won’t want to bring me.”“I guess not,” I mused. Deena’s mom could be a real bitch at times. “We’ll call you when we get the time nailed down.”“‘Kay, Dad. And Haley?”“Yeah, Deena.” Haley answered.I figured what was coming next. “I love you too, Mom.”“Deena!” Haley squealed.“Bye, y’all,” Deena said. The phone call dropped.“I wonder how long before she tells her mom,” I said to Haley and we slid together.“I dunno, but THAT call was a surprise.”“Yeah,” I replied. “I was thinking ‘drama’. Deena sounded happy as hell...”“And I thought we were being discreet,” she smiled.“I told you to be careful.”“Deena’s smart like her daddy. I should’ve known.”“I’m just happy she didn’t see it as a threat to her relationship with me and go off the deep.
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