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"As long as you'll have me, if you still do, that is." There's never been anyone else." I know that now; why didn't you tell me that you loved me." Because I did love you." That has to be the most ridiculous reason I have ever heard." She smiled as she said this and cuddled me again."You needed to get away; I could see that; you were like a caged wild bird; I could see that you were dying inside. If I'd told you that I loved you, you would have stayed and then that would have been the end of you and eventually the end of me." So you let me go and you 'died inside' instead." It wasn't so bad; I knew you were happy; I hoped that you would come back to me, one day."I lied.I remembered the day that she had left to take up her new job as coordinator for some charity or other in Africa. The details were unimportant; this was something that she needed to do; something that she felt had purpose. I'd been amazed at the change in her; gone was the morose and barely functioning women that I'd. She wore a white blouse and black pants tucked into good work boots, much like a man would - working around the farm in a dress was difficult at best and she and Grandfather had thought it ridiculous to try. She was as comfortable in mens clothing as women's but when out in public, off the farm or when visitors were expected, she was a perfect lady. She grabbed her hat - much like the men wore also - wide brim to shade her eyes with a rawhide tie under her chin. She also had her work gloves tucked into her back pocket. The thin chain and locket that she always wore the only truly feminine thing she wore - except her underclothes, of course. Her chemise and the knickers had been altered to wear under the pants and were a soft silk. She couldn't bring herself to wear men's underclothes. She headed to the kitchen hoping to find coffee and maybe a bite to eat.She could hear James and Billy, laughing in the side yard. Looking out the window she nearly lost her ability to breathe.James was.
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