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I hope things are going to bealright. I feel so helpless.*****Its kinda funny around here now. Its like we all made this unspokenagreement to not mention what happened, but to go on as though life wasperfectly normal. My step-dad actually seems a little wary of mybrother, so maybe that's what we've needed to do all along - kick hisbutt, and then he'd leave us alone. *****Have I mentioned yet how much I HATE getting erections? Most of thetime, I can almost pretend I dont have male bits, but when I get hard,its impossible to ignore, and it sucks, big time. I can't explain itright, but it just feels so WRONG somehow. Sometimes, the only way I canface the day is to pretend my clothes are girl clothes and that nobodynotices or minds. That's one of my big fantasies at night, to imagineI'll wake up as a girl and just have a normal day as one. I just dowhatever I would normally be doing, except I'm female. Then the guilthits, and I try and beat back the fantasy. I'm so tired of. I switch the vibrator on to medium speed, which in turn causes my cock to jump. No, no, no…I don’t want to cum too fast. I’d rather tease/torture myself a bit longer. I want to hold out as long as possible. Which won’t be much longer either way. My balls are drawn tight; it is no longer a saggy ball sack. That would be the first clue to any female that I was with…my orgasm is approaching and there isn’t a lot of time. I imagine you sitting there, fingers buried deep in your pussy, begging me to cum for you. My cock throbs with the thought of it. “Cum for me baby” you whisper so seductively. I am so close…I think of my very first orgasm. I never even touched myself…I was reading the book The Happy Hooker by Xavier Hollander. I was sixteen, lying in bed naked. I had skipped school that day. Those very same intense feelings seem to wash all over me again. My heart is racing, my cock shiny with all of the precum it has released. I can’t help myself. I squeeze my legs together again,.
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