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It’s just too painful dreaming of her every day of my life. I dream that I am her hero, always capable of rescuing and easing her every pain, and that she is my Queen and that I make her feel so alive and happy that she sings silly songs and tells me made up stories about fruit. But yet, when I wake up, I’m always alone, she’s constantly pushing me away. She keeps telling me that she’s leaving it in god’s hands. Why doesn’t she understand that my heart is in her hands, for I’m hers for the taking, that I’m ripe and ready to be harvested? Why does she play with my heart, doesn’t she understand that even when she’s next to me that’s still too far away? I have to face the reality that she doesn’t want to be MINE, that I’ll never be more then comfort food to her and that you cannot mold someone into what you wish them to be. While I’ll do anything for her love, I need a sign, a jesture that we’re a team, that she believes in us and me. Just then the light, colors and smells intensified. ” She held up the bag as if to show me the fish.“That’s fine,” I said, “Come in. I’ll leave you to it until I need you.”She left to go into the kitchen and I made my way to my study. I sat in front of my computer toying with various things for half an hour. Suddenly the machine pinged and the screen changed to the new CCTV screen. I clicked on the image for the front door to see the slut standing there illuminated by the new intruder light. It was already quite dark outside and she seemed hesitant. Several times she looked right and left along the street. Finally she seemed to make up her mind and took off the coat I had given her. She folded it neatly and placed it on the bench next to the front door. Next she knelt down and removed her shoes and socks. She stood up and again looked in both directions. Slowly she lifted her top over her head and added it to the coat. As she now seemed committed to going through with it she unfastened her slacks and let them slide down her legs where.
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