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Or if she could live in a big house with the robot machines that washed clothes and dishes for you.She wished she could have been someone else. Lived another life. She wondered if there’d be a Heaven or afterlife like she’d heard some people believed. If she’d see her aborted baby in Heaven. Who that baby would have been, a boy, a girl? A person like her?“I’m not a monster,” she wrote, “I did what they’re doing to me. If it’s justice, it’s justice. If it’s murder, it’s murder. It’s whatever it is. It couldn’t have been worse... “I brought shame to my family. There’s nothing I can do to make up for that. But I believe my death will end much of their suffering, end much of their shame. For that, I’ll be happy to die tomorrow. I’m sorry to them, I’m sorry to my family that I couldn’t do better in school, land a better job, be in a better situation. That I’m a disappointment ... I am truly sorry to my parents. But I’m not sorry to anyone else.”These words were the same as the final. Got my exercising in, did my chores, and was reading when you got home. How was work?”“It was a normal day until Bob called me this afternoon.”“Oh really? So, what did he have to say?”I tried to sound nonchalant while Mom went into the fridge and started pulling stuff out for dinner. Looked like we were having Hamburger Helper. Not the best meal, but typical for a weeknight. Maybe I needed to start helping with the cooking. There were a couple of things I knew how to make, and it would also show Mom how serious I was to helping.“Come on. What did he have to say?”“Well, if you must know, Bob said it looked promising. The lawyers were going to call him back on Friday, and that he’d know a lot more after that.”“Barnim.” My mom had that look on her face that said, you better listen and pay attention.“First off, you better not count your chickens before they hatch. Secondly, you’ve been doing really good this last week. Just don’t revert to the crap you were pulling before your accident,.
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