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” (What are you doing, hand it quickly, I am freezing).I hurriedly handed her the garment and went back to watch TV. Now my thoughts were a mix of emotions. I was aroused and at the same time feeling guilty of harboring such thoughts about Sowmyakka. Thinking sexually about someone else’s wife is not something unusual.But she has known me ever since I was a kid and now her husband has handed me the responsibility to take care of her. I was dying of that guilt and at the same time was unable to erase her image from my mind. It was like I exploded into two different personalities, a good one is forcing me ahead to think about at her nudity and the greater one is dictating terms to my mind and body and keeping me in a continuous state of arousal.The guilt was unbearable and even greater was the desire. I was torn between these two. Before that moment Sowmyakka was someone I never seriously looked upon.I have masturbated in her thoughts when I attained adolescence and even wet my bed. I cannot read, watch TV, or listen to the radio. I am not allowed to usea computer or cell phone. This is how they keep me in line. I reallydon't mind, but then again, I have no say in the matter. They laugh thatI am a bimbo because I don't even know who is the President of the UnitedStates. I think it is Obama, but I would get in trouble for knowingsomething like that.A typical day for me is getting up at around 7, then making LaKeisha andTyrone breakfast. My master likes his coffee in bed. LaKeisha then goesover my schedule for the day. Sometimes I fill in at the shop--other daysI do housework at Ms. Parkers. Today, I am going over to Ali's house toclean her room and do her laundry. Ali is the 18 year-old who took myposition at the nail salon. She is a gorgeous girl--blonde and blue eyedwith a killer body. Most of the people I serve are African American, butAli has an all American girl look. Sort of like in a Polo advertisement.Ali likes to take me shopping with her.
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