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. ... tsssstttt... "AAAAAEIIIIIFUUUCK!!" screamed Kelsey, launching herself straight up into the air.Sitting back with a smug look, Amanda was conspicuously rolling a can of Bactine between her fingers."Kelsey, climb down from there! You're making a spectacle of yourself!" I said.Kelsey was hanging from a light fixture, panting heavily while staring down with murderously loving eyes at Amanda.Dangling that way, she looked like a really sexy spider monkey ... with a bleeding ass.While teasingly waving the can of Bactine around, Amanda blew her a kiss.Anyway, we were in second-period American History class, and the Redbull vodka I'd shotgunned after first-period had just kicked in. Swear to god, Jenkins' lecture was beyond boring. So, having nothing better to do, I'd started fucking Kelsey in the ass atop my desk, and Amanda had our school's A/V crew there filming it.When Jenkins eventually caught us, he did his best Mr. Hand from Fast Times at Ridgemont High impression, smirking,. I explained but was uncertain I was believed or understood, it seems counter to wisdom to remove over half the blossoms of a fruit tree, but forty large apples provide more meat than one hundred stunted, crowded sour cherry apples. S’truth, I had grafted in the good branches the year prior, they had seen me do it, it wasn’t magic. They preferred to believe in the miracles of our own lord Matty. The Low Friars basked in reflected glory as well, it was known that all my healing and wisdom was learned from them.One of my first enactments as the new Earl was to sponsor a copy smithing of all the hundreds of manuscripts the Low Friars had amassed as well as the few others to be found. It was slightly impious to neglect copying and illuminating the Good Book, but with the unmentionable transgression of my brother who’s name is now unmentioned shadowing my popular, newly ennobled lineage- along with my military successes against the breakaway nobility; the High Church left us to our own.
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