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Ms. Rosenbaum hired me to help with the arrangements for your death.”I stared back at him. I had nothing to say about that. It wasn’t as if I’d had any say in the matter when it occurred.“I don’t like surprises,” he said. “Yet I was surprised when your sister told me that you were alive a few weeks ago.”I nodded. “I’ve been surprised by a great number of things since I left for college. What I don’t get is why you’re telling me all of this now. You could have said something over the phone when you called.”He nodded with a grunt. “You are correct. However, before I leveled any accusations, I wanted more information, and it takes time to gather it.”“And what have you learned?”He squinted at me, as if he was sharpening his focus. “I did not become a partner at my firm without knowing things, Mr. Connors. One of my duties is to confirm anything that might jeopardize this family by way of legalities. When your sister informed me that you were alive, I of course had to confirm it. I hired. ”Paul: You did? Without even telling me?Monique: “Well telling you would’ve defeated the purpose, wouldn’t it Paul? I mean, given that the whole problem was due to your running some sort of personal project on our servers that was eating up bandwidth like a glutton, I’m pretty sure the problem would’ve gotten hidden had you known about the outside investigator.”Paul: Well sure, but the projects done anyway so all the systems are back to normal. No harm no foul!Monique: “No harm no foul? You can’t be serious, Paul. You’ve cost this company thousands of dollars. And on a personal project.”Paul: Yes, Monique, but it’s a great personal project! Are you familiar with the hypothesis that the universe is a computer simulation?Monique: “I’ve heard of that but I don’t see how it’s relevant to your ass being fired.”Paul: Because, Monique, if the universe is a computer simulation, that means it can be hacked. And I figured out how to hack it. The only problem was the massive amount of computing.
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