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She was sharp, shedidn?t miss a beat. I smiled and laughed and hurried off to the kitchen. When I came back, she had alreadyfigured out my stereo and had cued up one of my favorite albums by theAnimals. We sat back on theleather couch and I tried to make small talk with her. She played along but I could sense shewas searching me, looking for something. I couldn?t figure her out yet. Yes, she was here in my apartment, but what was going through her mind? Before I had finished my drink with her, House of the RisingSun began and crept out of my stereo like a green, thick fog, the guitar introand the baritone vocals creating an eerie backdrop to our conversation. ?Oh I just love the keyboards in this song? she looked awaydreamily at the stereo. ?It reminds me of something out of the past that, well,how do I put it, something that just is uneasy or not quite right.? She looked over into my eyes when shesaid the last part. Not smiling,her penetrating eyes going deep into my soul. . "Rob you have no idea how sad I am right now. I finally realized what I did to you and to our marriage. It started out as curiosity. I had always heard that black men were bigger, but from personal experience, they are not that much bigger than you. Charlie is maybe a little bigger around, but Mac is smaller than you. Charlie was my first and should have been my only, but there was an excitement, a high I never got with you. Now please what I have ... ah had with you was fantastic, you were the best lover I have ever had, but the first time was something else. It was like my very first time with Brad Storey back in high school and my first time with you, but all rolled into one. It was pure animal sex; there was no love involved, just sex, great sex, but still just sex. It was wonderful at first and then when I came home to you, I was ashamed; I felt guilty that I had strayed, and I was no longer yours alone. I let someone else into my life that should have never been there, at least.
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