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By this time, I was free of the colostomy but was peeing 'rivers offire.' I kept drinking water all day long, believing the more the riversflowed the quicker the healing.My diary became radioactive from splattering hyper abuse. If this causesme to be dismissed, so be it! Of course everything I did was observedand the slicing and dicing would continue.By the time the twelve came back, I was wearing a bra. My nipples werehurting and that was all that matters. The Bra was slightly padded, asit needed to be, and it was noticed but I did not care.We rejoined the group. I continued with the weight training but onlywalked on the track. It would be another week before I jogged or playedbasketball. I missed the basketball, because it gave occasion for theguys to enjoy a hoot.Our intellectual training continued, on Third World instability, thebackground of Despotism, Emotional needs of the Despot....My thesis was on 'What sort of person was attracted to Politics, andTheir Emotional Needs."The. "Can you walk?" I don't know. I'm standing up. But they feel so weak." Lean against me and let's get to the shower."It was a long, slow shuffle. I felt like my legs would give out at any moment. I was exhausted by the time we got to the bathroom and I collapsed on the toilet. Lisa pulled the remains of my jeans off."I have to pee," I said as she pulled my shirt off. She lifted me enough to raise the lid and I sat back on the stool. I looked down. No catheter. No colostomy bag. I pissed. "Oh, god! That feels so good!" I started crying. Who would ever think that pissing could feel so fucking good? It was the best thing I'd ever felt. I could hardly wait to shit, but there was nothing ready at that end. Lisa got the water running in the shower and stripped. I looked up at her naked body for the first time. I was getting some other responses that I hadn't felt in nearly six years."Come on. Into the shower. I'll hold you up," she said. It took a little work to step into the shower and.
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