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People often asked me why I let it happen, and I say, 'I grew up being drawn towards him', as if it was always going to happen. I was a beautiful girl turning into a woman, my hormones kept telling my body I had woman's needs, and when you live a solitary life with the only man in your life, you find yourself using your body to attract his attention, leaving your bedroom door ajar and sitting around in various stages of undress.You want to be seen, you want to be appreciated and acknowledged, and as daddy and I grew accustomed to each other, our familiarity became like husband and wife, the only thing missing was the sex, and I think I began to want that more than he did, it took the alcohol to eventually weaken his resolve to make what is considered to be inappropriate approaches.Two people living in each others pockets, exposed to each other, and trying to suppress the bodies natural instinct, as they are drawn to each other, so, no matter the mental anguish of what is wrong with. I haven’t lived very long, but I’m sure I possess more wisdom than a lot of people who are much older than I. I think this comes from the fact that I actually sat down and consciously made a decision to analyze what was around me. I was sick of being in the dark. I wanted to see the light and the only place to begin was with myself. It’s refreshing to think that I did it all by myself. However, nothing’s really done by one’s self. My influences came from people and things around me … and also from experiences. I had a lot of friends at one time. These days I can count them on one hand. And I know why. My low self-esteem that I once knew is being tossed out the window. I realize my potential and I hold myself in the highest regards. I am me and that’s the only thing that’s guaranteed for the rest of my life. I don’t waste my time with people who I don’t want to associate with anymore. I thought I was obligated to keep ties with people who offered me nothing simply because they were.
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