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I continued mulling over my life and convinced myself, what was not true, was. I was a bitch, whore, worthless, good only for sexing and believed it.I'm no different than the Asian bar girls dancing naked on a stage, selected by number. My stage is different but like them, I'm called by a number, my phone number. No, they dance for survival, facing the horror of what they must do to survive. Me, I dance because I want on the stage. That's who I am, a dancing whore on the meat market stage.Convincing myself I was just a sex object, my esteem plummeted to my late teenage years. At least then I had innocence. My esteem reached its nadir.William’s love is right; I’m a bitch whore, used for screwing then dumped. No man loves me, none ever did.I sobbed my revised history alone and drank to numb the pain of her virulent, poisoned dart. I got a prescription for sleep, another for anxiety. I drifted into the numbness of drugs.After a week of wallowing in worthlessness, Paul called at the. It seemed pretty sad, dirty, and pathetic when there was no music and no activity. The smell was like if a bottle of cheap perfume collided with a dirty ashtray and landed in a warm bottle of Budweiser. It permeated everything in the bar.Trouble had all three girls on their hands and knees in the lady’s bathroom. They were going through their morning rituals until Stormy arrived. The girls were expected to dunk their own heads into the toilets. These toilets weren’t exactly sanitary, and it took more than a little self-determination to voluntarily plunge your head into the piss-water and gargle.The DJ and Stormy appeared with some of the other girls. The DJ looked like Vince Neil on a really, really bad day after being kicked out of rehab. They called the DJ by the nickname “Country” but he looked like an aging 1980s Heavy Metal guitar player.Stormy was built like an Amazon. She was aptly named because everything about her screamed confrontation. In fact, if you wanted to describe.
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