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That idea had been planted there by her own guilt and nurtured by Brian's insinuations.The day Teri arrived with the divorce papers she had lashed out thinking another woman was the cause of their divorce. How ironic. "I was furious about a perceived affair when I was the guilty party." Teri had been right to put her in her place.Helene wished she had not bumped into Michael those few days before Christmas. It was so unexpected and devastating. He looked so handsome and what? Self assured? He was as fit and toned as she had seen him in a long time. He always kept in shape but this was a new Michael... or the Michael she had failed to see. Her heart had fluttered and her knees were weak as they stood there on the sidewalk. When he had mentioned the farewell party at One Market her heart sank. She couldn't bear his absence again. How could she see him touch him convince him of her love and her determination to win him back? She had wanted right then to throw herself into his arms and. The first time she had been lucky to make it to her bathroom before she vomited all over the place, the dream had been so real that she had been sure she could feel the slime dripping down her skin, and she had spent almost an hour in the shower, under the hottest water she could stand trying to scrub it away. It was the same with her mouth, over and over she had brushed her teeth until her gums hurt and began to bleed. Over time she had learned to control her reactions to the dreams, but tonight, tonight she had that same fear and feel of his slime all over her skin. As soon as she had reached the bathroom, she had stripped off the short gown she wore, turned on the light and looked at herself to make sure it wasn’t there. Once that was done, she felt like she could breathe again and she flipped off the light so it wouldn’t disturb Bull when she went back into their room. Their room, not hers, not his, but theirs, she liked how that sounded. She understood now how her mother could.
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