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There on the crotch was my dried cum.“Oh, that’s perfectly natural,” my wife laughed. “You don’t need to worry about that.”“But it wasn’t the only thing strange, Mommy,” she said. “I, um, explored my pussy.”“While masturbating?” Betty asked, a shrewd gleam in her eyes. “I know you like to do that in the morning when you wake up.”“I guess,” my daughter squirm, giving me an innocent look. “You don’t think I’m bad because I like to touch myself?”“Of course not, sweetheart. Everyone does it.”“Even you, Daddy?” A mischievous smile popped across her lips. “Is that why you’re so hard right now? Did I interrupt?”“No, no, just morning wood,” I told her, my ears burning hotter. “It happens to guys.”“I was giving him a handjob,” my wife said. “And, yes, you did interrupt. But that’s okay. Now what’s so strange about your pussy?”“Well, my hymen’s gone. And I feel so ... open down there. I could get three fingers into me. I never could get more than my little finger past my hymen before.”“Any. Brawling, arguing, taking fits of rage on a thrice daily basis. I don't want my family seeing me like that, Heath, can you understand how I feel?" You're always like that, Nick." To-him-self. He'd had enough round houses, and just wanted to get home, take a hot bath and play in his upstairs bedroom with his army guys. And he couldn't wait to see what Silas had made for their homecoming dinner. Well, his homecoming dinner. "Okay, Nick, I won't argue with you and try to talk you out of it. I'll tell everyone back home you had to find yourself. I won't tell them you have rabies and will be foaming at the mouth like last week when Jarrod, at the dinner table busted your balls about you having to geld that $2,000.00 stallion because he threw you, busted your goober and embarrassed you in front of the entire bunkhouse." Give me your word, smart ass, I mean bastard, I mean Heath." You got it, 1/2."------------The End------------This spoof is most respectively dedicated to what I heartily.
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