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I pull the covers back over my head in an attempt to find shelter from the pain and responsibility outside my door. My foot will not even touch the cold wooden floor, for fear that the creaking of old wooden boards would be the apparition of you as you walked nakedly, on tip toes across my room. My mind is tortured by the thoughts I have. The things I would whisper into your ear in the choicest of moments. The look on your face as you let your body give way to the convulsing throes of climax. The scenes are burned into my psyche and I crave their oddity and wonder. Cleanse me of this imprint though I want to revel there. Cleanse me of my own desire.Even now I cannot escape the internal strife. The most intense pleasure has given way to the most solemn low. Oh honest and true love, without the dark shadow of my lust, where are you? To be so alone that you are not even with yourself. Now that is to be alone.So leave me to lie here. Let me wait for the wind to stop and the rays to again. " With much less reluctance, Ria took her best friend’s head in her hands and planted a sweet, lingering smooch on the girl’s lips. “And do you love her, too?” I asked. “Yes, of course.” “THAT’s who we are, honey. We aren’t two separate couples, we're Shane, Ria, Connor, and Tracy. Four people who love each other. Period. And that love means a different thing for each of us. You love Connor? That's okay, because I love Connor, too. I just don't want to have sex with him." "Same to you, dude," Connor grinned. Everyone laughed. I continued, "I know it's not normal or average or who knows what. Maybe it’s not what we all planned on when we were teenagers listening to love songs on the radio. But it's us ." "But what does that mean?" Connor asked. "Are we all really okay with swapping partners? Like, just whenever? It's not gonna make anyone jealous?" I sighed, "I have no idea. Honestly, we probably will get jealous. I know I got jealous earlier tonight, watching you in that bathtub with.
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