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. in a sardine tin ‘Cos the Lord don’t let ... no fishy ones inOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... in an apple tree ‘Cos an apple tree... ‘s got roots you seeOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... on roller skates ‘Cos you’d roll right past ... them Pearly GatesOh you’ll l never get to Heaven ... in a Playtex bra ‘Cos a Playtex bra ... won’t stretch that farOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... with a bottle of gin ‘Cos St Peter won’t let ... no spirits inOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... on water skis ‘Cos the angels don’t ... like those hairy kneesOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... with powder and paint ‘Cos it makes you look ... like what you ain’tOh you’ll never get to Heaven ... in a strapless gown ‘Cos a strapless gown ... might fall right down”There were many more verses than I’ve listed here. Eventually, Fred strummed a final chord, and rested the guitar.Once we had got our own breath back, we praised him, asking him how the heck he remembered quite so many of the verses.“Partly practice,. The words ?naughty little girl? ran through my mind again and again. I had been caught red handed with my hands in the cookie jar and far from imagining going to see some stranger for discipline I could sense that I might get what I was looking for a lot closer to home.?You smug bastard?, I hissed at him. ?Tut tut Miss Watkins I can see why you would need your bottom smacking with sort of language?. He carried on his mocking tormenting of me and left with the ultimatum that I would agree to him becoming my disciplinarian or my laptop would find its way on the headmaster desk. With notice that he would expect my answer by the end of the day he casually walked away.To say my mind was in complete turmoil was an understatement and however I got through the rest of the day was a miracle. As much as I loathed him both as a person and as my ?blackmailer? something deep within my mind began to see the attraction and an almost thrill at having to be obedient to him.The more I considered my.
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