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As the elevator made it’s clunky way and stopped and filled to capacity, she was pushed closer to me, I could smell her scent, her perfume ever so inviting, intoxicatingly appealing, she takes a step back, she brushed me in search of space, she had brushed into me again, her sheer stocking clad legs ever so noticeable, her strawberry blonde hair making a bold statement against her well couture office ware. Mesmerized by her beauty, still in my own little world, till I feel her back up against my chest, am I dreaming, I think to myself, her beautifully round buttocks rub against my groin, I’m now awake. I look around and see we are tightly packed like sardines, again her buttocks rubs against me, it’s as she knows exactly where I am she is more deliberate, she grinds in a circular motion, I stand up straight and lean forward adding to the pressure only for it to be reciprocated, she’s playing with me, I think to my self. With my left hand I snake it around her waist and feel her. I wanted to get up and leave, but she actually was all I had. At eighteen, I was an adult – but in reality I was not prepared to be on my own. The only maturity I had was to acknowledge my immaturity. No job, not finished with school, not even a serious major in school, I was not fit to be on my own. With all the humility I could muster, and barely enough to exceed my anger and feelings of betrayal I all but whispered ‘okay, but just know that I am crushed and mad as hell.’ ‘I know,’ Mom conceded, ‘and I know that it’s my fault. Here’s what happened.’ ‘I was nineteen, it was the ‘eighties. I had the world by the tail, well not really. I was a student, but didn’t have great employment opportunities. I wasn’t sure what I ‘wanted to be when I grew up’ – so to speak. But I had every intention of doing things the right way. I would finish school, get a good job, find a husband, and start a family … all the expected things in the right time and in the right order. ‘Here we are. I didn’t do.
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