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“Why?” she asked, her voice gentle. It wasn’t rhetorical and I sensed that my answer was important. So, instead of the flippant words that were on my tongue, I took a deep breath, turned, and met her gaze. “It’s the only thing that makes me feel better. When I shoot up, it’s the only time in my life I don’t hurt.” I felt her grip loosen, but not release. Instead, she surprised me. “Come in. Let’s get you cleaned up.” She fussed over me. It felt nice. Something my mom would have done had she not been so busy getting high. Like mother like daughter, right? She undressed me, her lips tight, her eyes tighter, as I shed my clothes until I was naked, shivering, not with chill, but with fear and humiliation as she appraised me. I could almost read her mind. Too thin. Track marks. Dark circles. Bruises. And then, those damning words. Junkie. “I’m sorry, Denise. I tried. I did,” I suddenly sobbed, wishing I’d never showed up at her doorstep.oOo I surprised her. Hell, I surprised myself by. You never answered whether the food was good." Yes, you'll certainly enjoy it." I am sorry for asking again but this is so intriguing. What would youdo if a man said yes?" You mean, me wearing the pants and him in skirts?"I nodded."Well, I would make him my girl. That simple." Your girl? What does that mean?" Oh, you are really curious. Do you want to be a girl?" No, I, err, I mean, I, I was just curious about this whole thing," Istammered."I see, you like to fantasize. Ok, I let you in. Just because you arefrom out of town. Like I said I wear the pants and I will turn my machoman slowly and graudally into my girl. This implies the whole process." Which process?" You know like getting rid of your body hair for example. If it were youfor example I'd go very soon with you to have a haircut and youdefinetely know it will not be to the barber. You have beautiful longhair. Would you do me a favor? You know I am telling you all this and Iwould like something in return." What do you mean?".
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