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I sent his mother to the university ... and this is what she brought back.What’s the definition of sick? Eating a bowl of rice and seeing the last one crawl away.An Indian, a Maori, a Muslim and an Australian were walking along an Australian beach when the Maori stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and ... a Genie appeared!“I can only grant four wishes!” the Genie said. “Since there are four of you, you may have one wish apiece!”Pointing to the Maori, he said “Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish”. The Maori thought for a moment, then said “I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland of Aotearoa”.POOF It was done! Thousands of ships appeared on the skyline.The Indian said “I wish for enough aircraft to take all fellow Indians back to our homeland!”POOF It was done! Row after row of aircraft filled the sky.The Muslim said “I wish for a hundred thousand camels to. You listened and you get me. Yeah, I mix in some R&B and some old-school country. I do a few jazz riffs and some folk. I ... I can’t believe you picked up on that. I mean, I have to keep it subtle to get airplay. But you noticed.”“And reggae,” I said. “There is about 20 seconds in ‘Daydreamer’ that has a real calypso feel to it.”“Yeah,” Liz said, smiling. Then she slapped me on the (good) arm. “You dork! You could have started to follow me years ago! We could already be married with two kids.”“Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I said. “Since I’m being honest with you, there is a secondary reason that I never paid attention to your work: Jealousy. I didn’t realize it at the time and I should have. I am no different than the studio people. You got famous before I did and it pissed me off, I think. I paid my dues and you didn’t. Then I got hurt and knew I’d never be famous so you got shit on again in my head. I’m not proud of either of those facts and I’m very happy that I appear.
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