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.. like about Felicity Chumley?”“Of course there are rumors about Felicity Chumley,” said Liz. “Her husband is eighty-something and she just had a baby!”“Well, I think I know who might have done that,” whispered Miranda. “I think it’s somebody I know ... and that you know too!” She sounded excited.“Who!?” gasped Liz. She was just as addicted to gossip as anybody else.“Remember in school, that dreamy Bobby guy? He sort of kept to himself a lot ... had all those sisters?”“Bobby Dalton?” asked Liz. “No way! He was so shy that one time, when I asked him a question, he almost ran off.”“What question did you ask him?” giggled Miranda. “How big is it?”Liz reached out to slap at her friend’s arm.“Of course not. It was something about when an assembly was, or something like that. He just looked at me and told me the time and then was off like a shot.” Liz frowned. “It couldn’t be him. What makes you think it is?”“I keep hearing his name. He’s a handyman, you know. He’s been in practically. " Coming up," says the bartender.As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water." Coming right up," the bartender says.As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"The old woman replies,"Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue." OLD" IS WHEN ... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!" OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot."OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door."OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face."OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along."OLD" IS WHEN ....
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