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We’ve talked about it. ‘It’s that I want to make something of myself so that I’m not just a ‘babe.’ Looks fade and men will always be staring at and yearning for the newer models, just like cars. That will happen to me too one day. ‘But, I want to have my own life and my own career. I don’t want to be a gewgaw on a man’s arm, like a Rolex, something for him to show off. I know I want something more – and I know I have to go back to school to start to look for that.’ She was hitting so many of the things I knew were true about her, I was almost at a loss for words. However, I knew it was my turn to say something. ‘Hey,’ I said to her, ‘you know, I think that’s a great idea. Weren’t you going to stop by school to get their schedule of classes for the spring?’ ‘Yeah, I did and I don’t know how I’m going to do it,but I’m going to try to take a full credit load and continue to work. It’ll be hard, I know, but I’ve got to try it, at least for one semester and see how it goes. I don’t have. I had tomorrow booked off from work in case I’d needed time to recover from the fight, so I didn’t have anywhere I needed to be or anyone that I needed to report to. I drove out to the Santa Monica pier and walked down to drink my soda while I stared at the Pacific. The sun was just setting and it was a marvelous view. I watched it and drank from the sweating can while I thought about my marriage or, more accurately, what was left of it.I shivered and knew I’d have to go home eventually. I was still in my workout clothes from the gym. I was feeling the chill as night fell and the sky darkened. I didn’t have my wallet or my phone or any plan other than try to get hold of my temper and calm down. I was SO angry all the time now. I hated it. Now she’d made me cross that line and I hated that too. Did I hate her? I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t think so. I’d heard or read somewhere that the opposite of love wasn’t hate, but indifference and that seemed like a truer statement of where my head.
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