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I didn't know why I was this way either. I tried to make him understand that I had these submissive fantasies almost since puberty. I told him that, although I had the fantasies, I never expected to experience them. I didn't necessarily want to experience them. They were just exciting to think about."When I am being made to do things," I said, "when I am being used and degraded I hate it. I am embarrassed and humiliated. But for some reason those things excite me. It excites me more than anything ever has. I don't know why I am this way. But now that I have experienced it in reality I have learned that the reality is even more exciting than the fantasy. My feelings about what is happening to Lynn are more complicated. I was probably just as excited by being forced to surrender my virgin daughter to you and your parents as you guys were. It really turned me on to watch and even help as you all used her. It was exciting. But I am not so stupid that I don't know how wrong it is. And my. Xavier loved to go out with Susan, to have her on his arm. He loved to see other men's reactions. They'd glance at this tall lady entering the dining room or bar, and their subsequent quick double-take as they tried to act as if they weren't staring was an ego boost for Xavier. He would have done the same had he seen Susan making her entrance. Susan was tall, standing five feet eleven. She'd recently turned forty-five, and often lamented that she didn't have her youthful figure anymore. She was pissed that she was now closer to fifty than forty. She'd given Xavier two children, whom they doted over. She was an athlete and loved to work out - the Stairmaster was her favorite but she also lifted weights and played rec volleyball - but with the family and her work, she just couldn't devote the time that she wanted. Susan was too hard on herself. No, she didn't have the same figure she did in her twenties, but she damn well sure could still bring it - big time. She didn’t like the term.
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