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At barely fifteen, I was still naive about the pecking order of the Clubhouse.I had heard names of certain ranks, but didn’t know what they meant.Shaz and Bones had become my closest friends, but were nothing more than slaves; then fully fledged bikers.Shaz was regarded as a Sheep and Sheep in biker clubs were in fact; nothing more than slaves or biker bitches or biker whores.Bones was prospects, which aren’t Bikers until they are voted in after a probation period.Both were slaves in their own way.Shaz was a sexual object; while Bones was Mr. Fix-It.Both were training me in their own way.Shaz would tutor me on dos and don’ts about the Club; and how to pour pots.While Bones; would tutor me on Bike repairs.The Clubhouse gave me a nickname of Lambsey, because I was a Sheep little baby.I still went to school but not as often.By mid-year, I was spending most of my time in or around the Clubhouse.On this particular day, they decided to have some sort of Club party and I was invited.It also. I was having my cake and eating it, too. I had my loving husband whom I adored; when he was out of town I had James, and nobody was getting hurt.Then James decided to screw things up. He started to get possessive, and wanted more than I was able to give him.“Kristi, I’m falling in love with you, and I hate this sneaking around. Isn’t there anyway that we can see more of each other? Only being able to see you when Mike is away is killing me.”“Now, James, I’m very fond of you, too.” I could see his disappointment that I didn’t also say “love.” “My marriage is important to me, if seeing you puts my marriage at risk, you’re history.”That made him back off for a while, but I found my feelings for him were growing stronger. I came to believe that I was in love with James. Maybe not quite the same feelings of love that I felt for Mike, but I rationalized that as being due to my longer history with Mike.Eventually, James wore me down. He was able to convince me that our love, while maybe not.
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