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But, there was still the problem of pain. Getting injured or wounded hurt. Tanya didn't really care to get hurt, although since she was, for all practical purposes, immortal, now, she was a lot more careless when she and Frank were on a field assignment, and had managed to get herself shot several times over the years.Béla's blood didn't reduce the trauma of having a bullet rip into your body at all. Tanya discovered that getting shot was just as painful after her 'immunization' as it was the first time. But each time it happened, she was grateful for her ability to heal quickly. That meant the pain went away more quickly, too.That morning when Tanya had kissed Frank goodbye, she knew he would be going to the museum auction on his way home. She had seen the ads on the Tri-d about the 'Chamber of Horrors' that was going to be displayed there. She hoped he would find something that would give her hours and hours of pure, exquisite torture.She felt her body tense and her belly tighten as. At that point, they hadn’t found a reliable way for me to speak on a regular basis yet. I couldn’t work. Couldn’t pay enough attention to watch TV. Couldn’t write fiction. It was then I started thinking about suicide. You start asking questions. Just how bad am I willing to let it get before I say fuck it? What will living as a cripple cost my family vs living without me? Will my wife love me?I started drawing criteria. One is the ability to read. Reading makes life bearable. Aphasia hadn’t touched my ability to read even though it can so that was a positive. I even considered other modes of reading like learning braille. I didn’t know if Aphasia could interfere with that but I’ll do anything to read. At that time, I needed a lot of minimal help so if my wife had left me right then I would have been screwed. So I made homeless a criteria -I.e. no caretaker then I had two larger problems - Pain and Hyper-Aggression.Prior to the Night of Hell, I had headaches once or twice a year. Now,.
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