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I was like: I KNOW!, Right?I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.This is compliments of John L.A little something I thought would make you smile. A twist on the old USAF Enlisted Performance Eval from back in the 80's. Worker's Performance Evaluation Report"Under the Freedom of Information Act and the Federal Privacy Act of 1974, I understand that my work performance is being documented. I have the right to examine and copy such documentation. I have the right to review and discuss differences in order to resolve them. I also have the right to request amendments to and/or modifications of any document."NAME:______________________________ SSN:_______________ Date:________KNOWLEDGE:_____ The S.O.B. really knows his shit._____ Knows just enough to be dangerous._____ Only has half a brain and is dangerous._____ His coffee cup has a higher IQACCURACY: _____ Does excellent work if not preoccupied with sex._____ Pretty good, only occasionally blows. I collapsed on the floor next to my bed and became paralyzed by fear.~After a while, I was able to collect myself and made it back to my feet. I slowly got dressed, awkwardly, and looked around my condo. There had to be a clue or note or something about what had happened to me. After a brief search, I noticed nothing out of the ordinary.My hands shook as I looked through my phone.I started texting a few of the buddies I went out with last night. I asked if they remembered me going home with anyone. None of them were helpful. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who couldn't remember much of last night.A wave of depression set in over me, followed quickly by an intense worry. How was I going to get this off?As much as it freaked me out to have this device locked around my most important body part, I decided that patience and calm were the best course of action. I had breakfast and coffee and as my headache started to relent, with the help of some ibuprofen, the urge to relieve my bladder.
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