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.. well honestly I have no idea how long I laid on the floor. I couldn’t care less about the time right now. I did finally drag myself into my bedroom and am now lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and am trying to focus on how in the world I am going to make this decision. I can't concentrate to even begin to evaluate the guys. Their strength's, their weaknesses, what I want with my life. Who would be the best partner? I took a deep breath trying to calm myself and focus. “What do I want, who would be able to offer me the best life?” I say out loud to myself. I sit and focus on the mental and physical strengths of each man. I think of them as lovers, their dependability, how they care for me. Mental strength Donnie definitely wins, physical strength Raph has it all day long. Raph is a passionate stirring lover. Donnie is a sensuous arousing lover. Donnie has shown me he can take charge and be strong as a leader. Raph, it’s more a demand then take charge and lead for him. “Uhh… this. ” I was lying to myself as much as I was lying to her.“As I understand, you weren’t using it much anyway. I’ve never put a virgin in chastity before. Maybe not knowing what you’re missing makes it a little easier. Still, though, you’ve been beating off non-stop for the last, eight or nine years? And now you have to get a woman’s permission to jerk it, that can’t be easy for you?”'What else had Melissa told her?' I was trying to hide my anger and embarrassment, but I must have been blushing by this point.“Melissa has been good to me… ” I began before Kassandra cut me off with “… but she’s been even better to Tayshaun.” The devilish smile on her face made it clear how much she was enjoying this.If I wasn’t before, I was definitely blushing now. I didn’t know how to respond to her. I wanted to leave but didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of feeling like she’d beat me.“I’m just playing with you, Grey. I trained my cuck years ago, so I know what you’re going through. I’ve seen my guy.
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