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The problem was, it wasn't enough. Just intimate moments with a handful of men and women. Sure, I could have gone clubbing in it, been seen in it, but I didn't. I would still have faded from everyone's memory within the blink of an eye. I even considered trying to get a job as a fetish model, but realistically, I'm not that attractive, only average.That's where Joel came in. Getting mildly drunk one night, we got talking about mortality and what we'd like to do before we die. I told him all this, about how I wanted to show off my body while people would still want to see it. I even told him about my stupid modelling idea. That's when he told me about Usenet. He told me about a place where I could publish photos of myself. Erotica. Where I wouldn't get paid, but people would appreciate what I did, even if I wasn't exactly Jewell Marceau."So when do I start taking photos?" Joel was still standing in the doorway, pretending to be blase about our amateur photo shoot. It's weird, had I. We kiss a frog, eager for a prince, only to find it hopping away a toad.Most of all, I'm not the sensuous creature I once thought myself to be. I consider myself pretty. I have long slender legs. My breasts might not be large, but full and match my hips proportionally very well. My waist is slim. Therefore, I am neither fat nor skinny, but just right. My skin is soft, alabaster and without scar or blemish. I am not a brunette; my hair is black, but soft, smooth and straight even when long. I am Ashkenazim of Nordic and German decent. This shows in my face, my best feature, with high cheekbones, a delicate nose, and large brown eyes. My only disadvantage is my height. I am small and almost petite to an extreme, only 5' 3, everyone looks down to me, as if I were a child.Yet, the city I live in judges beauty not only by grace, and figure, but also in names like Gucci, Fendi, Prada and Armani. Physical beauty and intellect are only parts of the equation.I am only one of millions of.
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