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‘James, I didn’t know…’ ‘Neither did I. I never said anything because I didn’t want to drive you away.’ ‘I…’ she started and stopped, unsure what to say next. I took advantage of her pause and leaned forward to her, softly kissing her. After a split second, she kissed back. I gently reached around and pulled her into me. Our kiss broke out of a necessity for oxygen, but our faces remained close. ‘Damn, that’s what else none of them did right,’ Katie whispered, and then kissed me again. This time we broke apart because Pepper was whining at the back door. ‘I better let her in before she wakes the neighbors.’ Katie got up and ran over and let Pepper in, who immediately came charging over to greet me, having neglected to do so when I arrived due to a more urgent need to go outside. Katie walked back over, and instead of sitting back down, she grabbed my hand and pulled me up. We stood there for a moment just staring into each other’s eyes. We were both still reveling in the discovery. When I was with her, I felt like I could never want for anything else. Her touch was reassuring. Her kisses electric. When she smiled at me, my heart melted. She was strong and self-assured. Yet she feared relationships. Because of her disease, she feared emotional intimacy and commitment.When I was twelve, my mother died in a car accident, and my father died when I was seventeen. Although my uncle took care of my brother, sister and I, a part of me longed for the security and safety of a spouse.We were both at a point in our lives when we needed each other. I didn't care that she had the same set of chromosomes that I did. She didn't care that I would never be a one night stand. She was beautiful, not only physically, but spiritually and emotionally.And when she died, a part of me was torn away.If not for my daughter, I think I may have given up, even though the mere thought of that would have horrified McKayla.So I cling to the things that remind me of her. I kept the house mostly.
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