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I was squeezed in theback seat between Carol and Cindy. It took a while to exit the parkinglot, and then Nancy had to direct Ma to their house. That took awhile. We dropped them off, and I hugged Carol good night.That left just me and Ma in the car. I wanted to stay in the back seatand lay down and sleep and perhaps fade out of existence. But Mainsisted I sit with her in the front seat. She insisted on telling mewhat happened with Ruth.I missed the offense Ruth had allegedly done, but I understood whatfollowed. "Ruth wouldn't let me spank her." No surprise there, havingseen Ruth's kicks and punches. "So I did something I'd vowed never todo -- and so far never did with you two girls until now. I had Papunish her when we got home."Pa took her to the bathroom for a bare-bottom spanking with hishairbrush, which I thought was a bit much, hearing how she screamed inpain. I hardened my heart to it because of the way she fought ustrying to spank her." I got angry at that myself,. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" Yes" says the woman."Did you hit him with that golf club?" Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face."How many times did you hit him?" I don't know -- put me down for a five."A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.As he approached the gates of Heaven,St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"A husband and wife are.
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